E - asttle practice writing persuasive

I am aiming to improve my writing in the following 3 areas sentences, more punctuation, and vocabulary


I will do this by adding more punctuation into my sentences to make them shorter and easier to read and putting my sentences into paragraphs to make them one whole thing and vocabulary  by adding more complex words into my writing to make it interesting


Essay 
Here is why  owning lot of things is good

Owning more stuff makes you merry because then you have more possessions to do with your friends or family. for example, If you own a lot of cars then you can take them onto the road and show other people by taking them to a show or driving around the city also if one of your cars breaks down then you have other cars to drive to rescue you.

Owning a lot of other things like technology which could include new gadgets, phones, and computers can you make you happy because then you can download the latest newest games.

However, this  is why it is bad to own a lot of things 

 If you go away on holiday and leave your house you might have to get other people to look after the house for you because strangers could show up to the house and hop out of their vehicle and break into the house and steal almost everything expensive which you have brought with your own money which you have been saving up for a long time. 

After a long time, you could plausibly run out of money and have to wait for a payday from the bank to your own bank account and that could take up to a week or half a week because they could be busy with other people trying to get things sorted. Some of the expensive things could be really rare and you can't get them anymore or hard to find like gold plating for cars or gold armor from the old old days or going on an extravagant  trip all around the world and paying for 

Travel likes taxis, planes, trains, ships and even hotels.