The Worlds Worst Children

The terrible triplets

ONCE UPON A TIME, there was a set of terrible triplets.Their names were Tom,Dick and Harry.Sometimes when you have sets of triplets you have a mixture of nice ones and naughty ones.All three of these triplets were naughty.Tom,Dick and Harry had been born just moments apart,fighting their way out of the womb,trying to elbow each other aside to see who could be first.You see, all three of them wanted to be top dog.As a result,the best at something.These being three of the world's worst children,they wanted to be the best at bad things only.Very bad things.When they were babies,Tom,Dick and Harry would battle over who could bawl the loudest...AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Break their toys the fastest...Bash! chew through the bars in their cot first...MUNCH! Create the most mess on the walls with their crayons...HA! HA! soak their poor mother with the most water spat from the bath SPLOSH! Flick their baby food the furthest...SPLAT! Wipe the most dirt from their hands on to the curtain WIPE ! Guzzle down the most milk...GUZZLE! Do the smelliest burps...BURP ! leave the biggest deposit in their nappy...When they were toddlers,the triplets would tussle over who could: Go fastest in the trolley down the supermarket aisles,and knock over the largest number of old ladies WHIZ Z ! Burst other children's balloons at the funfair with a drawing pin and make them cry... POP ! overfeed their goldfishes so they were bigger than their bowl's...BLEURGH!'' Do the smelliest blow offs while sitting on father Christmas's knee...poooooooooooh ! Build the rudest snowman.This was all about where you placed the carrot...TEE-HEE ! Spoil story time by eating as many of the books as they could CRUNCH ! lam the piano lid down the hardest on their nursery teacher's fingers when it was singsong time...TWONG ! ouch ! Ruin another child's birthday party the quickest ... This might be by cheating at all the party games opening all their presents or stuffing the whole  birthday cake in their mouths,candles and all Nooooooooooooooo ! play the worst tricks on their father.Tom put his father's underpants in the deep freeze so when he put them on his bottom turned blue AH ! Dick swapped his father's hair gel with glue so his comb became stuck to his head GLOOP ! Harry switched his parents bed for a trampoline so when his father jumped on it he bounced right up to the ceiling and ended up clinging to the light shade HELP ! When Tom,Dick and Harry started at school,the scraps became fiercer still.They would fight over who could SNEEZE the loudest during tests when everyone had to be silent AAATISSSHHOOOO ! ATISHOO! AATISHHHOOO ! Hurl jellies the longest distance in the school canteen SPLAT ! Spray their pee furthest from the toilet bowl Harry manged ten meters... HOORAY ! Boot the ball the hardest at the PE teacher as he refereed a football match OOF ! Write the crudest thing on the school bus window... Get in the biggest trouble on the school trip to the local pantomime by catapulting toffees at the window twankey... OUCH ! Ruin the Christmas carol concert by making monkey noises instead of singing... OOH OOH Cover the art teacher in the most clay when making a pot on the potter's wheel...SPLAT ! make the biggest explosion in science class... Tie the most children's laces together on the start line of a running race so they tripped over KABOOM ! whenever this trio did something cruel to others they would laugh.Not a nice happy laugh but a mean mocking laugh as you can imagine because they were always competing for who could be the worst of the worst these terrible triplets had upset absolutely everyone with whom they'd ever come in contact .And many more besides.As they grew up Tom,Dick and Harry spent their time desperately trying to outdo each other with their grossness.Tom took to eating his own earwax.He would spend all day and night with his little fingers in his ears,digging the smelly yellow putty out.Tom slept on the top bunk in the bedroom SHUT UP AND LOOK AT ME ! he would shout down.Then to Dick and Harry's horror and delight he would eat the earwax even though it tasted like licking a rusty climbing frame. Dick was not to be outdone.He took to sticking his fingers up his nose and rooting out the biggest stickiest bogeys he could find stuck up there.The boy would stick the bogeys to each other until he had what looked like a huge green icicle Then he would shout from the middle bunk  SHUT UP AND LOOK AT  ME ! When he had his brothers attention he would then proceed to suck on the icicle which tasted like a rotten cabbage lolly.Down on the bottom bunk,Harry was feeling a little left out.How could he outdo the other two? Harry had a belly button that was always full of fluff.Sweaty,manky,disgusting balls of who knew what. As soon as he'd plucked the revolting globule out of his belly button he shouted... SHUT UP AND LOOK AT ME ! The fluff tasted like something you might find at the bottom of a deep and dirty bog.In a word yuck some.